March 2013
5 posts
4 tags
a thinner me would not be a better me.
but a happy, fit, healthy me would be a better me.
and i know when i achieve healthiness and fitness,
i will lose weight
because i’ve gained weight due to anxiety and stressful eating, and illness, and disordered reactive eating
but i hate that. it makes me feel worse. i want to eat when i am hungry and when i need food and when my friends want to...
what has been taking up a lot of my head is that i’ve gained weight over these last few months of miserable despair — and it doesn’t have to be the end of the world, i can lose it, healthily, and feel better about myself
but it doesn’t happen over night
i just have to be good to myself and put effort into being healthy. but I feel so terrible about myself and my body right now and every...
I have been technically single for a week now.
October 2012
24 posts
how much longer can i keep on loving sanely because sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out and push on my head with my hands because it feels like everything in my head is screaming at me
2 tags
come sail with me through the seven seas
where the fishes bleed and the ocean leaves keep falling down
1 tag
there is a lot of religion in my life right now and if i were emotionally stable enough to deal with an impending existential and mental crisis it would be okay but it’s not okay because it makes everything much more consequential and impacting than it ought to
i can’t even eat pasta without crying how am i supposed to deal with God? i’m sure many people would direct me towards...
Osho's Ten Commandments
lazyyogi:
Never obey anyone’s command unless it is coming from within you also.
There is no God other than life itself.
Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.
Love is prayer.
To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness itself is the means, the goal and attainment.
Life is now and here.
Live wakefully.
Do not swim—float.
Die each moment so that you can be new...
“tell me a story,” she said. she took his arms and wrapped them around her, as if she wanted him to hold her together. “one with mermaids and witches and goblins. and angels. something i can dream about.”
i should have known
fruittbat:
you are as stable as chocolate earth,
and i, a reckless breath of wind
together we make nothing but dust.
You are a Sunday porch I could do nothing on
and feel like everything was...
– Derrick C. Brown
September 2012
7 posts
1 tag
i want to be optimistic so badly, and i know i can be — i need to keep putting effort in, keep finishing homework before it gets too dark, keep going to sleep before midnight, keep being healthy and well
August 2012
73 posts
1 tag
i wish i could dance/i wish i felt graceful or beautiful enough to dance/i wish